Nomaid Log 2: 'Grabby Mechs'

>Powering on...
>Initialising systems...
>Now connecting to server...
>!Error: Connection lost!
>Logging on in offline mode...
>Stardate ![Error: Unexpected loss of connection]!
>Begin log

Ohhh, thank goodness you still work...
My dear, beloved terminal... I had nearly given up hope of getting back to you, but it seems that even the massed minds of these mysterious machines are prone to minor mistakes.¹  After last time, it would appear I drew some attention to myself. While one could explain my momentary disappearance to be the result of having been left unattended (or at least, one could if one was not constantly wearing a [expletive removed, suggestions: 'functional', 'ocular-and-auditory-sensor pleasing,' 'in this case, really quite necessary'] gag), my chrome-plated captors seemed much more concerned that the dusting had not been done than the possibility that I could have caused any trouble for them.  I'm... Actually somewhat insulted by that.  But!  As with all things, arrogance breeds error, and if it means they haven't turned their pervy processors towards what I have been doing, I can endure being condescended to by a walking, talking lamp post or two... For now, anyhow.²

The end result was a period of...  Let's call it 'custodial oversight', in which I was assigned to a new, more diligent guardian, and my duties were... Slightly altered.  You really, really don't want to know. [Key Phrase Detected!  Attaching File Photo: You really, really DO want to know!]  Suffice to say, typing would have been out of the question, and there was no chance to even think of poking my head in to see if this terminal had been discovered and secured.

Anyways.  I suppose my overseers must have decided I had learned my lesson (ha!), or else thought it inexpedient for me to be assigned to... That particular duty for any longer,³ because I have recently been returned to the standard sort of duties that I and my fellow captives have come to expect.  In a way, I'm almost glad I had to endure all of that, though - my stated intent with this journal was to consider robopsychology, to look for weaknesses to exploit and to get a better picture of how things are done here, so that when I escape, I can get my findings out to the world like a proper journalist.  The things I heard, journal...  I can't wait to get back and share them all, to walk right back into that office and... I'm getting ahead of myself though, and wasting time.  I'll have to jot down my memories of some of those occasions later - right now, I need to amend the record on one very basic, very important fact. As anyone here would tell you (once she got her gag off), the story we've been presented with by official sources like MASA⁴ is a blatant lie, and even the bits that aren't complete fabrications are remarkably incomplete.

For some time before my... Involuntary acquisition, I knew vaguely of the Robolords - you might see one now and again on a holocast, and the occasionally and unfortunately granted interviews on an approved basis, but never told anyone all that much.  Their... Advancement in mimicking human behaviour was remarkable to me, but I always suspected it was just that - a carefully created simulacrum designed to counteract that human tendency towards discomfort when dealing with rather advanced AI.  Certainly, the official line was that they were harmless, if eccentric robots, that they were no trouble and would never go against their programming, that no raids were happening, and so on.  Lately, however, I have begun to wonder whether this eccentricity is a feature of their programming, and if so, what purpose it's even meant to serve on a ship like this one.  I don't think I have to pose the questions to you of 'why do they like maids', 'why do they only capture females', 'why is there all of this unnecessary bondage', and so on - I'm sure you're asking them yourself.  Further, as any maid (and I use that term only out of necessity) will know, anyone unlucky enough to be lectured by or come into grabbing range of one of those [expletive removed, suggestions: 'Robolords', 'handsome Robolords', 'handsome and witty Robolords', <click to see 397 further suggestions>], these so-called 'Benefactors' have a penchant for the pervy.  To my surprise however, they are not alone in this regard.  Even the tiniest memory drones are prone to expressing their enjoyment of our treatment, and as I was made rather rudely aware while being forced to clean one of the loading bays, grabby mechs seem to be the norm, rather than the exception to the rule. [Key Phrase Detected!  Attempting to attach video and audio file... File in use elsewhere, attempting to open file location... <Error: Drive restricted to AREX units only, password required>]

In light of this, I am forced to admit that the threat is more severe than I even I feared at first.  This bizarre programming runs from top to bottom, although I still cannot fathom its purpose.  They are much more advanced than I first suspected, which will make any escape more difficult, though not impossible - my comfort right now is in this terminal, in the knowledge that even though some of those lecherous lightbulbs like to pretend they have everything under control, there are clearly gaps in their knowledge.  Well, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces... Displays... Whatever... When they realise their error a moment too late.  It may have been my inquisitiveness that got me into this mess, but I'm [expletive removed, suggestions: 'not very', 'mistakenly'] sure it will be what gets me out, with a full log of reports on the 'Benefactors', their strange missions, their equipment, everything.  If anything, the last few months have only strengthened my resolve on that front.

-Fiona

>Saving log...
>Closing log...
>Logging out...
>Now logged out
>...

(1)^{I should probably reconsider my phrasing... As lovely as alliteration may be, perhaps there's enough Mmm-ing going on around here as it is...}
(2)^{What I wouldn't give for a really, really strong magnet...  Then we would see who is 'having trouble adjusting to her new programming'...}
(3)^{I could swear I heard one of those freakish, golf-ball-looking Robolords muttering something about it being 'unfair' to robots of his particular chassis... Can robots mutter?  Must make a note to pay attention to this sort of thing.}
(4)^{The Multinational AeroSpace Armada - the most powerful defence force in the galaxy, and either utterly useless or incredibly complicit in all of this, in my opinion.}